What Do You See in The Leadership Mirror?
How we see ourselves impacts how we lead
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Often, a leader’s blind spot has nothing to do with leadership competency. Instead, it’s rooted in how we see ourselves.
Our self-perception influences how we interact with the world around us—our colleagues, social circles, and even our internal dialogues. These internal conversations, frequently filled with negative, doubtful, and debilitating voices, significantly impact how we speak to and treat others.
Shifting Focus from External Validation to Self-Discovery
The blind spot here is that instead of constantly seeking external validation and affirmation, we should turn inward—deeply. This inward journey is essential because everyone around us is likely struggling with similar fundamental questions:
Who am I really?
How am I really showing up in the world around me?
How am I perceived, and does this align with my own understanding of myself?
If you haven’t invested time in self-reflection, the answer to these questions is probably not aligned with reality. It’s crucial to uncover and embrace the truths about ourselves that we know but others don’t, and to seek perspectives that can reveal how we are perceived in the real world. The Johari Window offers an easy and effective framework to jumpstart your personal development journey.
Unveiling True Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence and effective leadership. To bridge the gap between how we see ourselves and how others see us, we need to undertake an arduous process of self-examination. This involves:
Reflective Practices: Engage in regular self-reflection through journaling, meditation, or discussions with a trusted mentor or coach. These practices help uncover deep-seated beliefs and patterns that shape our self-perception.
Seeking Feedback: Proactively seek feedback from colleagues, peers, and even subordinates. Like it or not, constructive feedback provides invaluable insights into how others perceive us and highlights areas for growth that we might be blind to.
Embracing Vulnerability: Acknowledging and embracing our vulnerabilities is scary and hard to do. However, recognizing our imperfections is not a sign of weakness but a step towards authentic leadership. This openness fosters trust and strengthens relationships within the workplace.
Aligning Self-Perception with Social Perception
Once we gain a clearer understanding of our true selves, the next step is to align this self-perception with how we are perceived socially.
Here's where your commitment to a growth mindset will be challenged. Nonetheless, this alignment can be achieved by:
Consistent Behavior: Ensure that our actions and behaviors are consistent with our values and self-image. Consistency builds credibility and trust, reinforcing a positive perception among peers.
Transparent Communication: Practice transparent and open communication. Clearly articulating our thoughts, intentions, and decisions helps others understand our perspective and reduces misunderstandings.
Building Empathy: A smidge of empathy can open a closed mind. Develop empathy by actively listening to others and valuing their perspectives. Understanding how others feel and think allows us to adjust our behavior to create a more cohesive and supportive environment.
Dr. Shelby’s Story
A few years ago, I was leading a project that was crucial for the growth of my leadership team. Despite my confidence in my abilities, I noticed that my team seemed disengaged and less communicative. I realized that my perception of my leadership and social connection did not align with how my team perceived me.
To address this, I decided to take a step that felt uncomfortable but necessary: I gathered my team and even asked a couple of peers for an open, honest conversation about my leadership. I asked for their feedback, not just on the project but on my leadership style and their experience working with me. It was a vulnerable moment, but it was also incredibly enlightening.
The feedback I received was candid and sometimes hard to hear, but it opened my eyes to areas where I needed to grow. By acknowledging my vulnerabilities and actively seeking to understand how I was perceived, I was able to make meaningful changes that improved our team dynamics and project outcomes.
Whew! Like I said, it wasn't easy, but it was necessary. Overall, their feedback made my career trajectory crystal clear.
The Path to Self-Awareness and Effective Leadership
The journey to bridging the gap between self-perception and social perception is continuous and requires a commitment to self-improvement. There's no hack for self-awareness! Only by turning inward and addressing our blind spots, we can transform how we interact with everyone and enhance our leadership effectiveness.
As you reflect on this, consider:
How aligned are your self-perception and social perception?
What steps can you take today to bridge this gap and become a more effective, empathetic leader?
Embrace this journey of self-discovery and transformation. Your leadership, and ultimately your organization, will be all the better for it.
LEAD BETTER.
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